so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
