shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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