Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
