but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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