I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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