I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
