so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize