Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
