Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize