It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
