I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
