I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
