I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
