you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
