i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
