turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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