Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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