Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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