dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
