he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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