I will die if light touches me.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize