What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I am one with the molecules
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
