Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
