garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
youre lurking in front of me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You made out with two different species that night
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
