Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
