I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Your dad touched me again.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
