if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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