I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
