It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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