They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
