Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
