She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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