you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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