dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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