Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize