Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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