I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
