Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
