Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize