i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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