I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
