Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
