i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
