everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
