Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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