If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
