no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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