he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
