So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
