my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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