somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
my god I love twenty year old dicks
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
