my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
