he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
