Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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