Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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