every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
