It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
