That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I bet he comes in French.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize