She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
