i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
